The Art of Shifting Darkness into Light
A few months ago, I came across an article about the “God of Chaos” asteroid that will be orbiting close to earth. Catchy title, so you know I had to click on it. It was through this that I was introduced to Apophis, the Egyptian serpent god that represented evil, darkness, and chaos.
Me being the astrology nerd I am decided to look up where Apophis was in my birth chart. I had recently gone down a rabbit hole of researching asteroid Ixion, which is a lesser known asteroid associated with rebellion, and that happened to be retrograde and conjunct my moon in Scorpio. This was unsettling to me, because on the other side of this conjunction was Pluto retrograde, the small but mighty planet of transformation, destruction, obsession, and renewal. All of this was in the sign of Scorpio, which is associated with power, depths of psyche, and death/rebirth.
At its best, this three-way conjunction was an indication of the possibility of great emotional turmoil with regard to power/authority. This is an obvious challenge to me. Despite my Capricorn ascendant, the idea of holding power or authority haunts me. The popularized Spiderman quote, “with great power comes great responsibility” plays on repeat in my head anytime I think of holding power. I am absolutely terrified of the potential for destruction that is possible when power becomes an influence in one’s ego. I liken it to politicians or anyone who abuses their authority for their own selfish reasons.
Going back to Apophis, I had a sneaky suspicion that this was prominently placed in my chart. I don’t believe in coincidences, so I knew there had to have been a reason for this article to show up on my feed. Sure enough, it was placed directly on my South Node in Leo in my 8th House (Scorpio’s domain). With the south node’s indication of where we've been, it's reasonable to assume that this darkness associated with my past lives and the shadow energy is truly something I'm here to transform.
Though I don’t know all the nitty gritty details, I’m certain I’ve held many positions of power or advisory roles to others in positions of power in my past lives. I recall a past life regression where I was an herbal healer that mistakenly caused the death of a child due to pride. I've heard it before from other practitioners, some recounting times in the collapse of Atlantis. I've avoided positions of power in my younger years. I understand at a deep level the gravity of holding the responsibility associated with that power. I've learned this lesson before, and now it's time to uphold it and shift it into something new.
The concept of shadow and light in relation to each zodiac sign is important to note. Worst case scenarios are easy to fall into because the mind is usually more concerned about terrible things because the ego is there to protect you. But we must also consider the best case scenarios too, especially when it comes to astrology because in my opinion, it is all about potentials. When we think about the north node and south node, ideally we want to utilize the evolved traits from our South node to push us forward toward our North Node instead of allowing the shadow traits to hold us back.
When you consider that shadow traits tend to appear as a result of an unhealed wound, it becomes a little easier to uncover the cause and subsequently what was/is needed. Sometimes it can be a memory from childhood or maybe it requires going deeper into past lives…especially if you're like me and minimize your trauma. I believe it was Ainslie MacLeod that said traumas due to minor experiences in this lifetime usually are caused by major trauma in prior lifetimes. In any case, trauma is trauma, and unless it comes out into the light, the shadow will run the show.
I'll do another post on the shadow/evolved aspects of all signs, but for the sake of having an example, let's use my south node sign, Leo.
Leo Shadow Traits:
1. Arrogance / Superiority Complex
Leo may believe they are the center of attention or "above" others, seeking admiration to validate a fragile ego.
2. Need for Validation / Attention-Seeking
When insecure, Leo might constantly seek applause, admiration, or external recognition to feel worthy.
3. Pride / Stubbornness
Can be too proud to admit mistakes or ask for help. May reject feedback, even when it's necessary for growth.
4. Dramatic or Theatrical Reactions
Tends to exaggerate emotions or create unnecessary drama to stay in the spotlight.
5. Domineering Leadership / Controlling
In the shadow, Leo can become bossy or overbearing, needing to control others to feel powerful.
6. Insecurity Masked by Ego
A fragile inner self may be hidden behind bravado or flamboyance, avoiding vulnerability.
Leo Evolved Traits:
1. Confident & Radiant Self-Expression
Leo shines as a beacon of authenticity, inspiring others simply by being true to themselves.
2. Heart-Centered Leadership
Leads with generosity, compassion, and courage. Inspires rather than dominates. Uplifts others by helping them shine too.
3. Creative Visionary
Uses their creative gifts (art, performance, ideas, charisma) to inspire and uplift collective consciousness.
4. Loyal & Protective
Deeply loyal to loved ones and communities. Has a strong sense of honor and integrity.
5. Joyful Inner Child
Embodies playfulness, spontaneity, and fun. Encourages others to reconnect with joy and passion.
6. Authentic Recognition
No longer chases applause, but receives recognition naturally by being aligned with their soul's light and purpose.
What I found interesting when first reviewing this is how many of the shadow traits I would internally reject or criticize when I noticed myself or others displaying it. I recall times when I would question why I never talked about my career as an engineer among blue collar workers - I didn't want to seem boastful but on the flip side of that, was it because I felt that my job was superior to theirs?? Something to consider, and believe me when I say that was an uncomfortable idea to consider when there was so much of me that wanted to believe that every person and every job is just as important as the next, but that, I suppose, is part of paradoxical nature of the nodes.
So how does one actually shift shadows into light?
Well, awareness first. Where do you get defensive? What makes your insides squirm? What makes you feel like you need to scream? If an experience comes along with an uncomfortable emotion, it likely is linked to something you have hidden away. This can sometimes be more elusive for some people than others, especially if you’ve gotten used to suppressing your emotions. This is where working with journal prompts or someone else can be helpful (and I’m here to help!)
Second, understanding the root cause of it. Some may think this step is unnecessary, but I think it is helpful, especially for people who are more cerebral or like asking “why” like myself. (I’m also looking at you, air sign moons!) It’s important to note that this is not to place blame. It is more a way to understand how it has shaped who you are and how it has benefited you. It sounds counter intuitive, but the ego holds onto these beliefs in order to help. For me, I was shamed for being quiet as a child, and I was also a middle child - attention was sparse and I had to compete for it so my core identity became tied to what I could achieve. When we go through a spiritual awakening, we begin to recognize how it is no longer serving us and limiting us from growth, which is why we do this work. I created a PDF guide and worksheet to help with this - you can get it free here. It becomes easier to convince the brain when we understand this and it helps with step three.
Third, you give yourself what you needed. In this example, permission to be authentically me is what helps me. Chaos has emerged in my life when I forced myself to be something I was not, though truthfully it has always been more internalized chaos, which is fitting for the 8th house. It often takes repetition and this is usually one of the hardest parts. As we move through our healing journeys, we uncover more and more that has kept us stuck. We revisit the same wounds but go deeper. Eventually we get to the point where the evolved traits outweigh the shadow traits.
It is easy to look at the process and want to give up. It can be long. It can be painful. There are mistakes and falling back into the same old patterns you want to change. But eventually it becomes easier, and when you recognize the progress you’ve made and experience how your life has shifted, it becomes all worth it.
If you want help with your shadow work journey, I offer 1:1 coaching, breathwork, hypnotherapy, and astrological guidance. Check out the homepage for more information.
